None of the “What to Expect” books in my home library prepared me for the everyday guilt I feel since becoming a mom. I’ve always been a bit of a rule follower. Some may disagree, but I definitely followed a path. I went to school, then college. I got a job and husband and a dog. Then, the three of us bought a house. I never doubted that I was doing the right thing. Then came the baby. Even before he was born I felt guilty about the cup of coffee I drank the morning. Was the caffeine hurting him? That was just the warm up. When he was born the real guilt started. I took some time off work. Was it enough? Was it too much? Is my baby ok at daycare? Do I hold him enough? Did I throw away my career? Am I making enough money now that I’m working part time? Where is the instruction manual for kids? Where is my GPS for this guilt trip? I have so many questions and there are so many opinionated people in all the forms of media telling me I’m doing this motherhood thing wrong.
Recently, I Googled “mother guilt,” because I had a suspicion my guilt ridden conscience and I are not alone. Well, Google confirmed my hunch. There are more than ten pages of links discussing ways to drop the guilt. So now apparently, I should feel guilty for feeling guilty? Crap. There aren’t enough hours in the day for all my layers of inadequacy. The first article that comes up on Google from the good people at WebMD was by far the most helpful of the two that I read. On leaving your baby at daycare:
“As long as you have reliable and trustworthy child care and find meaning in the work you do and it completes you and you’re able to maintain and strike a balance, it’s a healthy thing to do,” Samuels says.
Well, thank you, Samuels. First, thanks for run-on sentence (Seriously, I copied this straight from the WebMD site). Secondly, thanks for restating the problem in the guise of an answer. But, since we have this story problem, let’s try to solve it mathematically, shall we?
Ok, I think my childcare situation is reliable and trustworthy. So I have the left side of the equation nailed. It’s the work side of the equation that’s giving me problems. Do I find meaning in the work I do? Does it complete me? Is this the angsty sequel to Jerry McGuire? Have I struck a balance? My algebra recollection is the number of unknowns has to match the number of equations in order to solve this problem. I’m pretty sure I have way too many variables to pose a solution. Perhaps you can’t break an emotion like guilt down into an equation, WebMD. I do know for sure I’ve never been in my office, in Jerry McGuire fashion, whispering to my work, “You…You complete me.” Should I feel guilty about that?
ninjaneermomjeans 